Kingdom of the Spiders By Bernhardt J. Hurwood

Kingdom of the Spiders
By Bernhardt J. Hurwood
Based on the screen story by Jeffrey M. Sneller and Stephen Lodge
1977 Ace Books
Paperback, 180 pages

                Since I adore nature-strikes-back books and movies, I figured I’d better just stick to the novel of this one since I’ve heard that real spiders get injured and squished in the movie. Thousands of Mexican Red-knees were brought to the production and they were not taken care of. I will not watch that. But I do want to read about spiders killing humans, so I grabbed the novelization. I got more- and less than I bargained for with this book. The writing is absolutely abysmal, which caused a few bristling moments but quite a few moments of mirth as well.

 

                Camp Verde, Arizona is readying itself for an upcoming County Fair and the living is easy. Except that a few farm animals have turned up dead. Local veterinarian Rack Hanson and entomologist (rather than arachnologist) Dianne Ashley are on the case and they discover they are dealing with spider bites that are five times more venomous than usual. As the spider population grows, the human population dwindles and the entire town is in danger of becoming tarantula meat. The spiders are hunting in packs (not typical behavior) and are intent on decimating the town. There’s really not much more to the story than this.

 

                OK, first off, Hurwood repeatedly says that the spiders stand there “waving their antennae”, a body part that spiders do not have. Then again, he calls them insects a few times, too, which is also incorrect. It’s hard to know if this gaffe came from the original script by Sneller and Lodge or if it is Hurwood’s non-research. Also, Rack (whose nickname is explained) is played by William Shatner in the film and it reads as though the part must have been written for him. There’s no way to read the character of this bullshit-macho, womanizing letch with a heart of gold in any voice other than Shatner’s. At least he has some sort of characterization; nobody else does.

 

                So, it turns out that I’ve read another Hurwood masterpiece, the cat-horror of Claws written under the pseudonym of D. Gunther Wilde. I enjoyed that one a lot more but this one has its moments, even though Hurwood’s descriptions of the spiders rarely get any more ambitious than “ugly”. The writing is very lazy, perhaps because the author’s scary stories are more suited to children’s books and he isn’t used to flexing his horror muscles. At any rate, this book is pretty crappy but it’s easy to blow through (then forget) in a day or two. There are 16 pages of photos from the movie in the book.

The Web By Richard Lewis

The Web
By Richard Lewis
1981 Hamlyn
Paperback, 204 pages

 

                When Alan Radnor turns into Richard Lewis, he writes books for me! As Lewis, he wrote a half dozen creepy-crawlies-versus-humans novels and all of them are loads of fun. This one is a sequel to his successful debut critter novel Spiders (1978). Many of his books don’t stick in your head for a long time, but they deliver the goods and are a hoot while you’re digging in.

 

                Of course, James Herbert’s The Rats (1974) started the whole Britain-under-attack genre, but we must also credit the same author’s The Fog (1975) for the folks-going-murderously-insane storyline that also frequently turns up in these books. The spiders that return in Lewis’s sequel are a little different. Sure, some of them devour their victims down to the bone, leaving just a husk, but a mutated form of spider can envenomate their victim and that, my dear, will cause violent insanity. They also enjoy wrapping up humans in tight webs to be devoured later. Evolution, that’s what it is.

 

                Much of the book is just a bunch of brief vignettes, characters set up only to be slaughtered. One fun passage is with the spinster schoolteacher whose routine is broken up after being bitten by one of the new spiders. She goes bonkers on her class of cheeky, young students and starts killing and beating them, as well as anyone who tries to stop her. I love it when bratty kids aren’t spared! Another fun set piece is a prison attack where the trapped convicts are sitting ducks for the arachnid army.

 

                It doesn’t matter if you haven’t read Lewis’s first spider novel; when the action from the first book is referenced, it is notated for your convenience. Since we have new mutations here, consider it an all-new story and enjoy the onslaught. Derivative? Yes. Any new ideas? Nope. Do I recommend it? Hell yes! Fun, gory, stupid, 80s pulp… just the way I like it.

Came a Spider By Edward Levy

 

Came a Spider
By Edward Levy
1978 Berkley
Paperback, 232 pages

 

Genetically altered, huge, hungry black spiders overrun Los Angeles. I know, we’ve heard all this before but this lesser-known spiders-attack book has plenty of new ideas to offer and is written in a breathless style that kept the pages a-turnin’.

 

Starting off with a young boy getting bitten by a voracious spider in the desert, it never really lets up. Oh yeah, kids buy the farm in this one. In fact, little Lee, the victim, was now an incubator. These spiders lay eggs in their human victims or just completely devour them. “A thick, black, hairy carpet…” is a pretty nice way to describe the onslaught of arachnid atrocities.

 

In addition to the spider juggernaut, Levy gives us some pretty good characters. The police lieutenant in charge is a very relatable guy for me… a bit overweight, getting a bit old and tired. This is not what he needed. There is also a touched upon, but never fully explored, nerd romance between the scientist in charge of finding a solution and one of the scientists responsible for creating the new strain.

 

Real science is out the window here… this new species reproduces super-fast and are ready to eat up LA at the drop of a coin. They eat up the zoo, and there is a wildly entertaining attack on a movie theater. Fuck The Blob… these guys mean business. Containing them proves to be a real problem.

 

Yeah, like I said; nothing brand new here but a very entertaining take on the Spiders Attack genre. It’s as good as a Richard Lewis spider novel and better than much of the swill I read and enjoy. Levy has a few other novels that I’m interested in reading, including The Beast Within which was adapted by Tom Holland for a film for MGM in 1982.