Cows
By
Matthew Stokoe
Made on
Demand, 1997/ 2015
Paperback,
206 pages
This is the notorious,
gross-out, disgusting novel that has all the kids a’ twitter about how nasty it
is. When online discussions about the “most extreme” horror novels pop up, Cows
is sure to get a mention. Needless to say, I needed to take the plunge and
shell out my hard earned dough.
Steven is a fucked-up guy. His unloving
mother (The Hagbeast) routinely abuses him, and he longs for the “real”, happy
family life he sees on TV. He gets a job in a slaughterhouse, his first move
towards independence, and it fucks him up even more. Soon, a group of rogue cows
that have escaped the kill-line are talking to him and indoctrinating him into
their underground society, hoping he can help with their cause.
Yeah, that’s right. Talking cows. On the surface, it’s just
more wackiness in a book that has more shit, vomit, blood, jizz, and other
bodily fluids than every other book ever written combined, but it’s all just
allegory, and it does get a tad heavy handed at times. Not to say that it
doesn’t work, though. The world (and our place in it) is a mess and Stokoe does
a masterful job of showing just how bad it could be for some folks. Granted,
I’m not going to shit down my mother’s throat to kill her, but I do feel a
little alienated sometimes.
Is the book a gross-out? Oh, hell yes! Has Stokoe actually
eaten shit? Because he goes into great detail about the texture, taste and viscosity
of feces that will have your brow furrowing at the very least. His descriptions
of the desolate world of Steven filled me with his hopelessness and, as a
veggie, the slaughterhouse scenes reinforced my choice of a meatless lifestyle
in a massive way. Yes, the book is a gross-out, but it is a hell of a lot more
than that. It will make you think about things you’d rather not think about. I
made me squirm, laugh, roll my eyes and think. It’s actually quite a deep book.
First published in 1998 by Creation Books, Cows is now
self-published by Matthew Stokoe.
This review originally appeared in Midnight Magazine #9, March 2022.
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