The Camp By Guy N. Smith

The Camp
By Guy N. Smith
1989 Sphere
Paperback, 288 pages

    Just what did Guy N. Smith have against vacationers? He set loose his crabs on them, he sicced a manitou doll on them and this time out, things get even weirder! Thank goodness he held some kind of grudge against people on holiday. We got a lot of great stories out of it.

    This time out, we’re at Paradise Holiday Camp. It has everything. Chalets, amusement parks, bars, restaurants, and a covert project where certain campers are being tested on a new mind-altering drug. The project gets mixed results; one couple thinks they’re in the new ice age (in the middle of a hot summer), one woman thinks she is a prostitute while her abusive boyfriend doesn’t even know her, and one older woman thinks she’s pregnant. Jeff Beebee fares better. Ann, the woman who is to dose his food with the drug, kind of falls for him and she is reluctant to administer it.

    We have a little soap opera here, too. Ann is the (older) drug scientist’s mistress, and Jeff’s girlfriend has just dumped him at the Camp. We also have a little classism as the more affluent guests stay in better digs than the riffraff (you know, like me). GNS throws a lot of different characters into the mix, and they are all well-rounded, even if only through their hallucinations. There is some shocking violence and plenty of frustrating moments where you just want to yell and let people know what’s happening to them.

    The book chugs along at a good pace but slags a bit going into the last 50 or 60 pages. It is almost as if as he was in the homestretch, Guy thought up a better ending and tried to tie everything up before getting to it. If that’s the case, then I’m glad it happened because the ending is a fiery, violent burst of mayhem. It is hard to not recommend any GNS book and The Camp is another winner. Les Edwards’ cover captures the angst and horror admirably, too.

Polish edition, Phantom Press 1991

art by Radoslaw Dylis

    Originally published in GNS2: A Guy N. Smith Fanzine by Chris Elphick

The Totem By David Morrell

The Totem
By David Morrell
1979, Fawcett Crest
Paperback, 255 pages

                                               

    Boy, I really wanted to like this book more than I did, but you just can’t win them all. It’s got everything I usually like; possible monsters, possible rabies scare and possible good story-telling. But overall, this became a slog to get through for me.

    One big problem? The main character’s surname is Slaughter. The author even comments how it’s a silly name, unbefitting the character, but it still managed to bug me. Anyhoo, Nathan Slaughter left the police force in Detroit for a quieter life in a small town in Wisconsin. When the job of Sheriff became available he took it, figuring he’d be living an easy life. Until bodies started stacking up.

    The bodies show signs of rabies and eyewitnesses describe some sort of monster with antlers. The bodies, however, don’t stay dead. They get up and start a reign of terror. This is no ordinary rabies. When a rabid young boy becomes an instrument of terror, biting his mother, the town is on high alert.

    I do like when Morrell is telling the tale from the monster's point of view, whichever infected being it might be at that time. Called only “it”, it’s nice to see what is going through the head of the victims of this plague. Some pathos is worked up for the kid who turns. The main characters, Slaughter, the doctor who is trying to sort out a lot of shit with very little information, and Slaughter’s old pal, the drunken reporter, are all right, if at times a little predictable. It’s just that by the half-way point, I became a little agitated and bored with the book. I mean, it’s OK, but I just didn’t get absorbed.

    Morrell, the man who invented John Rambo, had his original manuscript cut down before publication, so maybe some tidbits of story got the axe but I don’t think I could have made it through the book if it was any longer. The longer, original version was published in 1994, bumping it up to over 400 pages. No thanks. Admittedly, I grabbed this Fawcett edition for the groovy cover, which is far less spoilery than the images on other editions.

The Lurkers By Guy N. Smith

The Lurkers
By Guy N. Smith
1982 Hamlyn
Paperback, 158 pages
                                            

    The Master covers familiar territory with this one, with a family of outsiders facing the hatred and wrath of the small-town locals, but he throws enough variations into the short page-count to keep the story fresh and exciting.

    Peter Fogg was a working class nothing who wrote a book in his spare time. It got published and turned out to be a big hit. He got greedy and moved his wife Janie and his son Gavin to a secluded rental house deep in the Welsh Highlands to write another book. Janie hated it; she could sense something evil in the woods around the house. Gavin hated it because being English, he was the target of his Welsh schoolmates’ ire. And there was that old stone circle up on the hill, visible from the house.

    Smith sets up the story and lets the dread seep in slowly, from the townsfolk making no bones about how unwelcome the Foggs are to the slaughter of their pet cat and rabbit, whose remains are found at the stone circle. Are the townsfolk responsible or are the ghostly druids back, making sacrifices in the name of Old Scratch? Janie has had enough and takes Gavin back to civilization, leaving Peter on his own against whatever evil forces are at work. There is something out there.

    Guy N. Smith’s daughter has said that the house in this book was based on their own home. It sounds like a lovely place, except for the brewing evil! Fogg’s stand against whatever is out there is a suspenseful stake out in the middle of a crippling blizzard and Smith really ramps up the feeling of isolation. Many twists unravel and this satisfying book can be plowed through in a sitting or two. A highly recommended non-crab book from a legendary writer.

    Originally published in GNS2: A Guy N. Smith Fanzine by Chris Elphick

Roadkill Girls By John Monsees

Roadkill Girls
By John Monsees
2025 Grindhouse Horror
Paperback and Kindle, 132 pages

                                             

    It’s not every day that I get a review copy of a book but I’m honored to have received the first book from Grindhouse Horror. I know John Monsees primarily as an illustrator but his move into writing is a lucky thing for lovers of pulp horror. He gets it, he’s good at it, he understands what readers want, and he delivers it in a big way.

    Jinx. Spider. Viper. Roxy. Four women on motorcycles, fleeing from the police after a bungled robbery leaves a dead body. The desert roads offer them no respite so they go way offroad, lose the pigs and find themselves at a diner in the middle of nowhere. But the people running the diner are cannibals! They soon learn that their problems are just beginning. There is something else there. Something monstrous. Something underground. Something that wants to eat them.

    That’s right, things pile up for our anti-heroes quickly. We want the kitchen sink and Monsees gives it to us. The characters are beautifully developed; Jinx is the small gang’s leader, an ex-con and the one with the most level head, though she’s feeling she is in over that level head. Spider is an ex-military tech specialist, also a convict, and has the ability to work gadgets to the gang’s advantage. Viper is nuts, no worries about her own life or death and is responsible for the murder that put them into hot water. Roxy is just a kid; 18 years old and running away from an abusive home, joining the others and feeling like she has her first real family. I developed a lot of feelings for these badass women in the short running time of this book.

    Of course, we’re here for the pulp sleaze and Monsees lays the gore on thick with slicing, dicing and biting, from both a drug-addled Viper and the massive underground worms that are the ultimate challenge for the gang. The worms are part Tremors (Ron Underwood, 1990) and also they reminded me of the annelids in Peter Tremayne’s hard to find book The Morgow Rises (Sphere, 1982). They’re tough to kill but easy to be killed by. But Monsees offers far more than a gorefest. As mentioned, the main characters aren’t just fodder. When anything happens to them, we care.

    There are also plenty of brilliant, Raymond Chadler-esque passages that made me stop reading and go back to reread and admire the line. This novel wasn’t just banged out; it was lovingly created. Not everything is perfect (two Harleys and two Kawasakis become four Harleys later on and they evidently got a fill-up at the diner, but I didn’t read it) but this is a highly recommended debut. I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t mention the cover. It is tweaked Artificial Intelligence and I promised myself that I’d never promote something (book, movie or record) using AI, but it’s not an egregious use of it (like that shitty, shiny, cartoony garbage) and Monsees only takes the illustration gig away from himself, so I’ll turn the other cheek here. This review copy also includes a sneak peek at Monsees’ next release, a “shameless love letter to Guy N. Smith” and yes, it will be crabs. I am beyond excited for that one!
    
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Inhuman By John Russo

Inhuman
By John Russo
1986 Pocket Books
Paperback, 221 pages

                                                 

    John Russo is no stranger to horror fans. The co-author of Night of the Living Dead should need no introduction. His novels have been inconsistent, in my opinion, but Inhuman is very good, despite horrid online reviews. In fact, it is one of my favorite non-Dead ones so far.

    There's a lot going on in the first hundred pages. An old, dying woman predicts "Great big snakes are a-comin'. To Kill us!" Her religious family don't know what to make of that. Meanwhile, a pair of married psychiatrists are preparing their remote and beautifully maintained Manor House for a marriage encounter for five troubled couples. Meanwhile, again, a bank in New York has a hostage situation, with an SLA offshoot group of fanatics, the Green Brigade, killing off the innocents until their leader and his comrades are freed from prison. They demand a plane to Cuba and get it.

    OK, set-up complete, the fun begins. Of course, an over-zealous FBI agent does not want the plane, full of terrorists and hostages, to make it to Cuba. His plan is to get to such a high altitude as to knock out the passengers, with only the pilots having access to oxygen. They try to implement that plan, but a grenade makes it irrelevant. The pilots do their best to land safely and preserve the lives of the hostages. The landing is more or less successful and most of the passengers survive. But… the lack of oxygen when they were up there has had some nasty side-effects.

    Sure, the resultant story is heavily influenced by Night of the Living Dead, with the remote plantation house being under siege by the brain-damaged and heavily armed terrorists. Russo even says, with a wink, that the basement is the safest place and should be a last resort. While none of the characters are particularly likeable, the suspense is still thick, and the “automatons” are relentless.

    No, Lisa Falkenstern’s brilliant cover has nothing to do with the novel. The brain-damaged folks have a “reptile instinct” in that they want to hunt and kill and won’t stop until they do. Not sure I’ve met many reptiles who act like that, but then I’m higher on the food chain, I guess.

    Good book, great cover. Add it to your collection.

Cat’s Eye By William W. Johnstone

Cat’s Eye
By William W. Johnstone
1989 Zebra
Paperback, 397 pages

                                                   

    Anya and Pet are back! The huge maggots are back! The Old Ones are back! God and his old buddy Satan are back! William Johnstone strikes again with this, his sequel to Cat’s Cradle. Fasten your seatbelts, you’re in for another ridiculous ride.

    The events that happened in Ruger County, Virginia have not been forgotten so when shit starts going down a few counties over, in the town of Butler, it all had a familiar ring. Carl Garret, the bodyguard to Dee, a writer, also happens to be a self-proclaimed coven-buster. He is a one-man Satan-stopping dynamo, and he recruits police and townsfolk (that have not yet been turned into satanists) to fight for good.

    This book isn’t quite as wacky as the preceding one, but it is pretty nuts. I thought for a moment that we’d actually have a strong female character in a Johnstone novel, but Dee turned out to be really good at making coffee and being protected by Carl. Yes, somehow, the bodyguard runs the whole show because he was familiar with the happenings in the previous book, and he has a chip on his shoulder because he’d lost his father there. But we still have the flesh-eating maggots, possessed cats, rape, living severed heads, people turned into unrecognizable demons and all sorts of evil shit.

    One thing that makes this sequel a little bit of an eye-roller is the mentioning of God on every other page. Yes, I realize this is a good versus evil tale and it’s God versus Satan, but the Christianity is pretty heavy handed. Carl even cries “God, guns and guts!” as the means to beat the devil. That’s just fucking silly. Lots of things, including… wait for it… heavy metal music (!) are signs that one is turning to Satan. And, once again, there are so many characters that I got lost a few times, wondering just who I was reading about at the time. This entry wasn’t nearly as well laid out as the first one, and Anya and Pet are mere bit players here.

    If you dare to delve into the wild world of William W. Johnstone and this sounds like it would tickle your fancy, I suggest you read Cat’s Cradle first as this book refers to that one’s story frequently. By the way, that wonderful, embossed cover image (art by Richard Newton) has nothing to do with the story. That’s unfortunate, but…

    … you do get Satan farting.

Junkyard By Barry Porter

Junkyard
By Barry Porter
1989 Zebra Books
Paperback, 284 pages

    At first, I didn’t think I was going to like this book. The main characters are four teenage boys (not my favorite creatures), and the author was giving them very detailed back stories. I was saying to myself, “get to the horror part!” Then, a side-character got a full backstory and after rolling my eyes, my distress turned to joy. Everything was shaping up nicely after all.

    Four pre-teens built a huge clubhouse/ hideout in the local junkyard. Now, four years on, as their lives and interests are changing, the Pit, as they call it, is pretty much only used by Larry and Mark to watch porn and drink beer. Now one of them, Nick, has asked to use it on Friday night for his date. He wants to lose his virginity to Pauline. The fourth Pit member, Ray, has a long-time crush on Pauline and hates that plan. Larry wants to make a peephole in the Pit to watch live porn.

    Meanwhile, the junkyard owner knows there is something big and hungry on his property; he lost three Dobermans to something savage in there. Larry has an encounter one night, as well. Will the gang believe him? Deputy Gavel would. He’s been leaving the remains of his pedo-sexual murders for the beasts to eat for a while now! All of the characters plan to be in the yard on Friday night. Larry and Mark want to spy on Nick and Pauline, Ray wants to find and slay the monsters to prove his manhood, the owner wants to get revenge for his doggie “children” and the cop needs to get rid of remains that he was unable to earlier. Friday night is going to be a hoot!

    Part Stand by Me, part Food of the Gods and part American Psycho, this book strikes a lot of chords and with patience it really pays off. The clashing friendships of the boys as they wrestle with adolescence adds the emotional layer needed to pull the story off and the slow reveal of the flesh-eating beasties works very well. The pedophile, murderous cop could have been a gratuitous cartoon character, but he isn’t, much to the author’s credit. The Pit, a huge, cavernous construct made of cement, stacked tires and a Buick, is a character in and of itself.

    I thought this book was pretty well-written; I don’t understand the brickbats that some reviewers throw at Porter online. It was a little plodding in the first third but after finishing the book, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. The great cover (Perkins? Barkin?) has nothing to do with the beasties in the book but is also a huge selling point.