Sunday, December 22, 2024

Playmates By J.N. Williamson

 

Playmates
By J.N. Williamson
1982 Leisure Books
Paperback, 303 pages

 



                I do not care for J.N. Williamson’s style of writing. He is overly florid, with long meandering sentences filled with commas and similes. No doubt, he is a creative and intelligent writer, but it can come across as pretentious and just “oh, look how clever I am!” Word soup. Then, sometimes he absolutely nails it. For instance, Chapter 7 starts off with this: “It isn’t so much that the person who prefers the imaginary to the real has no use for reality. It’s simply that the imagined has the decency of being shy, and stay out of the way, while that which is real continually and obdurately intrudes.”

 

                I think that line is genius if quite overwritten in itself. (Obdurately means stubbornly. I looked it up.) So yeah, I can give him some credit for his prose but overall, he needs to ease up on the thesaurus and sentence structure.

 

                Connor Quinlan comes back to the Irish countryside where he was born after having moved the USA. He brings his wife and 11-year-old daughter Troy. Connor’s da, Pat, is super glad to have the boy home. Young Troy doesn’t have any friends, so she makes friends in the forest behind the house. They happen to be fairies. Are they real or imaginary? To Troy, they are real. They couldn’t be responsible for the grisly deaths that have been happening in the forest, now could they?

 

                This book throws more Irish at you than a St. Patrick’s Day parade full of green vomit. Pat is forever going on about Irish folklore, the beauty of the Emerald Isle, and how his son is finally back where he belongs. Through him, we learn about just who Troy has befriended in the woods. We get talk about leprechauns, fairies, banshees, little people, family secrets and three pages on a lecture about why books shouldn’t be made into movies. (Sounds like Williamson got refused a few times.) Women aren’t given much of a fair shake in the book, either. They are there for their men. Even Troy, the kid, isn’t treated with much respect.

 

                In truth though, I enjoyed parts of this book a lot, even though I don’t give two shits anymore about Ireland’s history. As the story developed, I got keen on finding where it would go. It’s not a keeper but I admit to turning the pages rather quickly. It certainly is different and for that, I have to give it some extra points.

Thursday, December 12, 2024

The Accursed By Paul Boorstin

 

The Accursed
By Paul Boorstin
1977 Signet
Paperback, 184 pages

 

                As a snake lover, it is sometimes tough for me to assess a book such as this. I mean, many people have an unreasonable fear of snakes, or they just dislike them for whatever reason. (Because the Bible tells them to… oops, did I say that out loud?) This book plays on, and plays up that fear, putting (or keeping) snakes in a bad light. This, of course, just adds to the bad publicity.

 

                Then again, I do love seeing snakes wreaking havoc on stupid humans and this book delivers that, including a wonderful scene with a Reticulated Python plucking a baby from its newborn crib in a hospital. That alone makes this book worthwhile. The author’s science is good, having been a National Geographic explorer, though he also makes up a lot of shit to serve his narrative.

 

                In the deep South, one of those cracker-barrel snake-handling preachers is at it again, saying that if you handle the venomous snake and do not get bitten, you’re A-OK in God’s eyes. If you do get bitten, well, Satan had your soul. This guy doesn’t just use local rattlesnakes, he imports Cobras and shit. He is “probably” also responsible for the Reticulated Python that is living in the low-budget, trashy hospital next to the swamp.

 

                Poor Dr. Adam Corbett. He just wants to help the impoverished locals and get them good medical attention. Too bad hospital head Straker is such a penny-pinching douchebag. They clash often and the good doctor has to put up with incompetent nurses, as well. And cover-ups and babies disappear. And, worst of all, his wife has come from Atlanta to be with him in the hick-water hospital and give birth there.

 

                OK, that’s pretty much the set-up. There are deaths, human, serpent and canine, but no real pathos gets created because all of the characterizations are wafer-thin and mostly unlikable. Even the pregnant wife is an annoying idiot who gets herself into lots of predicaments for the sake of storytelling but really, who cares? As always, I root for the snakes. Not a terrible book but not really satisfying either, and it even felt a little long at 184 pages.

Thursday, December 5, 2024

The Scourge By Nick Sharman


The Scourge
By Nick Sharman
1980 Hamlyn
Paperback, 211 pages


 

                I have read roughly half of Scott Grønmark’s books written as Nick Sharman and have enjoyed them all. He is a gifted writer and I enjoy his use of the English language, sentence structure and storytelling. Every now and then, I pause and admire a sentence. While this doesn’t get the book done any faster, it is yet another way to enjoy one’s reading experience.

 

                Strange things are afoot in London (again!) and folks are dying in mysterious ways. A private eye, Kiley, is almost killed alongside one of the victims and he gets himself involved with an investigation into the seemingly unrelated deaths. The deeper he gets, the more he realizes that he is embroiled in a dangerous and bizarre case. Things point to pharmaceutical kingpin David Benson and “Project Alpha” and time is getting short as people die.

 

                This one is not as nasty as some of Sharman’s other horror books, there are still some very upsetting death scenes. As much of a detective novel as a terror tale, The Scourge is a page-turner in every respect as we follow Kiley on his relentless pursuit for the answer. Yes, there are ridiculous and convenient situations to move things along and Kiley would likely have died a million times over while taking too many chances, but taken for what it is, an 80s pulp horror novel, that’s all part of the fun.

 

                I read a few reviews that made fun of the ending but for me, the last 25 pages are pure, unadulterated perfection. I almost broke a sweat turning pages and I swear I almost slipped in a puddle of blood. Fun, fun, fun with a Capitol F, dammit. This book was released by Signet in the US with a somewhat dull cover. I suggest holding out for the original UK Hamlyn cover with the bloody eyeball. I’m not sure what it has to do with the novel but it’s a hell of a striking image!

Tuesday, October 29, 2024

Draw You In By Jasper Bark

 

Draw You In Vol. 1- Collector’s Item
By Jasper Bark
2024 Crystal Lake
Paperback, 264 pages

 

                                                 


                Jasper Bark has been a friend of mine for many years and I have been a fan of his since I first read Stuck On You (Crystal Lake, 2014) a decade ago. We have often discussed horror comics, with an accent on Eerie Pubs and in particular, artist Bill Alexander. When I cracked this book open and started to dig in, I swear I thought he was writing this tome just for me. But no, everyone can (and will!) enjoy this layered horror mystery that takes place in the comic world. And another world.

 

                Linda Corrigan is a comic book artist of some renown, but with the changes in the industry, she finds herself under-employed and working Artist’s Alley at a Con. Her editor comes by her table and invites her to a swanky industry party. That is the last she hears of him. She can’t get into the party because nobody has heard of the guy. In fact, even though she had worked for him for a number of years, his name and credits have all disappeared. She thinks it’s an elaborate hoax, but the police just think she’s lost it.

 

                FBI Agent McPherson heard her tale and believes her. He has similar cases that he’s exploring, and he offers her a job to work with him. Also in tow is comic historian Richard Ford and together, they have a link to forgotten horror artist R.L. Carver. Research shows that Carver was much more than just a funny-book artist and they find themselves embroiled with secret societies, men in black, and life-threatening ordeals. Could Carver’s legendary, unpublished Tales That Draw You In have something to do with it all? Is the work actually cursed?

 

                This is a multi-textured first entry into Bark’s mythical but often true trilogy of Draw You In. Real comic creators make appearances and many of the oddball characters are based on real people. Gun-toting Hymie Schmeling is none other than our beloved Eerie publisher Myron Fass, right down to almost shooting his partner “Stanley Morris” (and what about that secret of his? Hmmmm…). Like I said, I swear this was written for me!

 

                Comic geekery, violent murders, some Plato thrown in for good measure, along with well-rounded characters that you can relate to are just some of the ingredients that Bark weaves into this epic tale. It is all told with an unblinking eye and prose that contains a touch of humor alongside a touch of evil. At the end of this first volume, which leaves many questions unanswered, I am left wanting more. I’m looking forward to jumping into the next volume not only to get some answers, but to see what else my friend Jasper has up his nefarious sleeve.

 


Draw You In Vol. 2- Secret Origins

By Jasper Bark

2024 Crystal Lake

Paperback, 268 pages


                                                 


                Well, Linda found herself on a book tour after Volume One and had retired from her role as FBI helper. Of course, strange things happened on her tour, and she couldn’t get the mysterious and unfinished work out of her mind, so she hitched back up with McPherson and Richard and they got right back to work. Richard had uncovered a potential goldmine of a lead… an actual member of the underground (literally) group Shadows in the Cave, a cabal who can and have changed the face of America’s history.

 

                The first half of this volume sends the trio on a scavenger hunt of clues laid down by the secret informant. They find themselves in Boston and Cambridge, specifically on the Harvard Campus. Listen- I have lived in the Boston Area for over 40 years, working in and living near Harvard Square for a quarter of those years and Jasper Bark seems to know the area better than I do! In fact, I never knew that the Shadows in the Cave actually are found in a deep sanctuary beneath the college. Our heroes passed their tests and are admitted into the lair and given more information, as well as have some taken from them. Linda puts it best herself: “I never expected our investigation to take this turn. Then again, I never expected a prehistoric larvae to lay a memory into my brain in an underground cavern.”

 

                Just as they run out of one lead, another presents itself and things keep getting more and more dangerous. Bark throws us a couple of Draw You Interludes to give us a taste of Carver’s notorious Tales That Draw You In. The story (within the story) is just as complex and weird as the main storyline, with nice grisly horror images that I can only picture as being illustrated like Graham Ingels’ work on “Horror We? How’s Bayou?” (Haunt of Fear #17, Feb. 1953). It really shows why Carver had trouble getting it published, and it’s not just the content.

 

                Bark is one smart cookie. He may even be the Midswégan himself. (Read the book, dammit.) The intricacies of this plot are many but none of it feels overwritten. This really is storytelling at its top level. Again, we are left with a lot of questions but even as things become more confused, they become clearer. As Linda’s repressed memories are brought out, we’re learning just how much more she is involved in the whole plot.

 

                I’m eager to get to the final volume of this puzzle and get all of the pieces into place. It has been quite a ride to this point, and I doubt it will let up in Volume 3.



Draw You In Vol. 3- Behind the Mask

By Jasper Bark

2024 Crystal Lake

Paperback, 354 pages


                                                     


                This volume starts off with Linda at her shrink, digging up her forgotten memories. Scary work, indeed. She eagerly hooks back up with Richard and McPherson because she has learned something. Where the Midswégan is. And what is it? It is an artificial god, a “tapestry of minds”, and they fear it is going to cause the end the world as we know it. The trio continue their detective work and their search for Carver until McPherson abruptly throw Linda and Richard out of the car, abandoning them.

 

                In this volume, we meet Carver’s three Horror Hosts “in person”, we learn the identities of the Shadows in the Cave and we learn that, even in our own real lives, we have to question “the fabric of reality” and what is real and what isn’t. Bark shifts into overdrive and Corrigan’s world goes from dangerous to hopeless to mystical and well-beyond. I’m trying to not tip my hand at all and remain spoiler free, but you wouldn’t believe me if I said anything, anyway!

 

                This is an extraordinary work of (mostly) fiction, on such an epic scale that it makes Stephen King’s The Stand (1978) read like Fun with Dick and Jane. After you get the rug pulled out from under you, Bark politely sets up another rug, makes you stand on it, then proceeds to pull that one. But every blow you take is essential to the story as a whole. Think Lovecraft’s worlds were fucked up? The world Corrigan finds herself in puts ol’ HP in the backseat, makes him buckle up and stay quiet. Bark never loses sight of his comic book fandom while creating visions that no artist, not even R.L. Carver could ever illustrate.

 

                Really, this is a remarkable piece of work, and I’m not just saying it because my own name appears in the same inch of text as Gustave Doré and Bill Alexander (which it does!). The scope and breadth of this trilogy is breathtaking and massive but thanks to Bark’s ability and the pure joy he displays in his writing, it never gets confusing or dull. This trio is the definition of a page-turner. And don’t worry, the gore quotient kept this gorehound happy and salivating.

 

                This is really an extraordinary work of art. Get it, read it and immerse yourself into a memorable experience. The truth is heard. It gladdens our hearts.


Pick up Jasper's magnum opus here!

Friday, September 20, 2024

Tortures of the Damned By Hunter Shea

 

Tortures of the Damned
By Hunter Shea
2015 Pinnacle
Paperback, 439 pages

 


                I like short books; 170 to 180 pages is ideal. I have the attention span of a gnat. But when Hunter Shea is the author, I don’t even balk at a 439-page book. He is one of the few authors who knows how to write an interesting and exciting page-turner. Short chapters, many of which are cliffhangers, and a breezy writing style. As I have said many times… Hunter Shea gets it.

 

                A series of explosions rock the East Coast, releasing poisonous gasses and taking out all of the electricity. It is quickly evident that the world is forever changed, and the story follows the Padillas, another close-knit family in the Shea tradition, and with their neighbors Buck and Alexiana, trying to survive Yonkers in a post-apocalyptic setting. After being forced out of Buck’s well-prepared bomb shelter (by crazed rats!), the motley crew, including the Padilla’s young children, try to make sense of the situation and get to safety… wherever that might be.

 

                For readers familiar with Shea’s crypto-zoological masterpieces… no, there are no Bigfoots (Bigfeet?) or Jersey Devils, but nature does indeed run amok in this one. The poison gasses make many species of critter go bonkers. Besides the crazed rats, we have vicious horses, alley cats, bats, and birds all making it tough for the survivors. Surviving humans are no less of a threat to the family. The body count is massive and the isolation the family feels is palpable to the reader. One touch of horrific realism- human ignorance and hate are still the most dangerous things, even in the post-Apocalypse.

 

                Some reviews have been pissy about the ending because they expected or wanted something different, but I found it perfect and satisfying. Could a sequel be in order? It doesn’t need one, but there’s definitely room for one. I will buy it if it should materialize, but if it doesn’t, I’m perfectly happy with the story as it is.

 

                One. More. Time… Hunter Shea gets it! He knows how to write an exciting and heart-wrenching horror story.

Snowman By Norman Bogner



Snowman
By Norman Bogner
1979 New English Library
Paperback, 160 pages


                Who doesn’t like a good Yeti book, anyway? Especially when the Yeti is an invincible super monster who can travel from continent to continent and live for thousands of years! Well, that’s the Yeti you get in this book.

                Snowman starts out as a ripping horror tale, with the Yeti settling into the California Mountains above a new, exclusive ski resort. Gory killings happen. It seems like the whole thing was going to be a satisfying “set ‘em up, knock ‘em down” slaughterfest, but the resort’s money men think pretty quickly, and the middle of the book is more about putting a group of Yeti hunters together than about bloodshed. Daniel Bradford, the leader, who faced the Yeti in the Himalayas and (barely) survived, builds his dream team and since money is not an issue, equips them with some ass-kicking hardware.

                So, yeah, the book went from horror to high adventure half way through, but with well rounded, if familiar characters (Bradford’s love-interest/ liaison to the resort, the tenacious reporter, etc.) and an interesting monster, it’s all good. I suggest saving this book for the warmer weather because when the crew is up in the icy, thin air on the mountain, freezing their asses off, you feel it!

                This book was first published in 1978 by Dell Books but, like me, you should hold out until you find the New English Library edition with the nifty cover monster cribbed from Terror in the Midnight Sun (Sweden, 1959). Snowman is  New York Times best-selling author Bogner’s only novel that could be considered horror and it’s pretty durn good.

Sunday, September 15, 2024

Talia By Daniel J. Volpe


Talia
By Daniel J. Volpe
2021 Self-published
Paperback, 211 pages

 

Blood makes the best lube!

                Evidently, Talia is a prequel to Volpe’s 2020 book Billy Silver, but I didn’t know that going in and it certainly made no difference to me, the reader. If you haven’t read that one yet, you’re still good to go.

                Talia is a midwestern gal transplanted in New York searching for fame in the bright lights of the big city. Well, she finds fame (of a sort) after being taken under the wing of Mike (never a name one should trust!), an underground specialty pornographer. She performs her jaw-dropping sleaze on camera for Mike and his psycho henchman Sally with no complaints until it gets bloody. Y’see, Mike has started to make snuff-porn. And if you don’t like it, Sally’s razor has something to say.

                Volpe lays the sleaze on thick and the fluids and depravity flood from the pages. The porn is gratuitous as fuck but we’re not reading Bambi here, kids… this is Splatterpunk Supreme. I mean, the first line in the book is “The strap-on dildo was nearly the size of a fire extinguisher”. Not just blood is splattering here, either. Once it does, however, the story became a lot more interesting for me. In my horror eyes, blood > cum.

                Admittedly, with little backstory on Talia (maybe there is some in the previous book), she sure seemed to get into the swing of things in the heavy-porn scene for such an innocent farm-girl. But she is badass and after a run-in with Sally, she gets even more violent. The book takes a supernatural turn that leaves the pages dripping with gore and satisfying revenge.

                Talia is filled with various bodily fluids, rape, murder, torture, gore, and nihilism… just exactly what you want when reading an extreme horror book. This one can be torn through in a sitting or two. Volpe is a heck of a nice guy in person but has one fucked up and twisted imagination. Soon to be a certified National Treasure.

                This edition has a nice, eye-catching cover by Mr. Michael Squid.