Claws By D. Gunther Wilde

 

Claws
By D. Gunther Wilde
1978 Leisure Books
Paperback, 173 pages

 

                OK, so this isn’t a well-written book by any means but that is not to say that it wasn’t worth my time. Y’see, I don’t care if the author is cleverly manipulating the English language and creating a work of art as well as a story. It helps, but I really read for the story. And this one is fun.

 

                New York City. The Big Apple. Fun City. There have been some odd deaths of late in some of the seediest sections of the city and cops can’t seem to figure out what is mutilating and partially eating the victims. Policewoman Darcy Ryan has taken an interest in the case, even though her superiors think a woman’s place is behind a desk. So, she gives the department a big fuck you and takes a few weeks off for vacation; a vacation spent tracking down the killer.

 

                So, that is one thing I enjoyed about the book. A strong woman main character. 1978 horror pulps weren’t exactly bulging at the seams with them, so this is a welcome surprise. Also, I love cats. The reader knows right away (from the cover, if nothing else) that cats are doing the maiming, but it is still rewarding to watch Darcy unravel the mystery. Much to my own amusement, I had a cat on either side of me while I was reading this book every night. Never once did I fear for my life.

 

                The non-ending is very abrupt, and nothing ever really says that the terror is over, but I had fun with this quick book while it lasted. It is said that D. Gunther Wilde is a pseudonym for Bernhardt J. Hurwood, a prolific author of soft erotica and ghost stories. I have a number of books edited by him in my anthology horror collection. He also wrote the Man from T.O.M.C.A.T. books for Arrow in the Sixties as Mallory T. Knight. A well-rounded individual, I say.

                This review originally appeared in Midnight Magazine #10, Spring, 2023

Midnight Magazine

Books of Horror Facebook Page

The Brain Eaters By Gary Brandner

 

The Brain Eaters
By Gary Brandner
1985 Fawcett
Paperback, 278 pages

 

This book is good. I didn’t have to suspend my disbelief too much during this one as it involves a fast-spreading global pandemic. Much to my delight, it all started in Milwaukee. Not New York, not LA, not London. It’s about time Wisconsin got the horror-pulp recognition it so richly deserves!

An accidental (or is it?) mix-up releases a dangerous chemical into the air in rural Wisconsin. Just a little. Surely it was remote enough and there was so little… but then people start going a bit crazy; just a few locals and some folks who went through the Milwaukee airport. They get murderous. They kill. They break out in festering, bursting sores. Things get gooey and it spreads quickly.

Our main character here is a newspaper man who is looking for the big scoop to get out of the Midwest and back to the big city. Maybe even a Pulitzer. He seems to have found the story. (Ever notice how many books have zealous news guys as the leads? It must be a novelist’s wish fulfillment fantasy!) Between him and the scientists who are responsible for the deadly contagion, they unravel a tale of sabotage, murder and a pandemic that threatens to shut down the world. Now, that couldn’t possibly happen, right?

Brandner is no stranger to horror fiction. He is responsible for The Howling and its literary sequels as well as a handful of other horrors. He ladles on the gore and disgusting unmentionables with a heavy hand in this one while still keeping an emotional bond between his characters and the reader. This book comes highly recommended, from me to you. With love.

This review originally appeared in Midnight Magazine #10, Spring, 2023.

Midnight Magazine
Books of Horror Facebook Page

Sock it to Me, Zombie By F.W. Paul

Sock it to Me, Zombie
By F.W. Paul

1968 Lancer Books

Paperback, 189 pages

 

                Brett Steel is the Man from S.T.U.D., a hard lovin’ super-agent whose missions frequently lead to sexual escapades. This tale takes him to a remote island (eventually) where a movie is being filmed and one Mama Mia is making zombies and voodoo dolls.

 

                This is the first in a series of Man from S.T.U.D. books written by F.W. Paul, who is really sci-fi author/ editor Paul W. Fairman. During the James Bond craze, there were zillions of knockoffs, and these books took the sex to the extreme and the comedy just about as far. Everything (including his agency Special Territories and Unique Developments) gets a clever anagram, like the Confidential Reports Analysis Panel (CRAP) that he reports to, or the film production company Trans-World Art Tapes (TWAT). Every scenario has tongue firmly planted in cheek, sometimes almost literally.

 

                The sex, which is most of the 189 pages, is a lot more explicit than I was expecting but with some of the terms used (a hard dick is a prong, fucking is yencing), it’s hard to get flustered in any way. There is bestiality, homosexuality, adultery, rape, misogyny, huge dicks, horny Amazons… hell, there’s pretty much anything you can think of in this book, and it’s played for laughs. Your mileage may vary.

 

                But when all is said and done, it does get a bit dull, knowing Steel will be fucking this one and that one, including his hot pilot Burma, who is doing a lot of fucking of her own. Look, I like humorous medium-core pornography as much as anyone, but it does get to be a bit too much. I kept thinking “Get to the zombie-fucking part!” And enough with the “she likes rape” shit.

 

                Despite the flaws, I will be seeking out one more Man from S.T.U.D. book, because there’s one called Orgy at Madame Dracula’s and I want to read it. Perhaps, I get a prong out of it, but I doubt it.

                    This review  originally appeared in Strange World #3 (Fall 2022)

Strange World at Midnight Magazine
Books of Horror Facebook Page

Ravenous By Ray Garton

 

Ravenous
By Ray Garton
2008 Leisure Books
Paperback, 342 pages

 

Another longer, newer horror novel! What has gotten into me? I discovered this title on somebody’s “nature-strikes-back” list. I looked it up and noticed that it didn’t exactly fit the bill; it is a werewolf novel. Still, it looked pretty good, so I found a copy and took a chance. And I’m extremely glad I did. This book is great.

 

The town of Big Rock has a bit of a problem. Unbelievably, there is a werewolf problem. A mysterious stranger seems to have all of the info, but the town sheriff doesn’t know what to believe. But there’s no other rational explanation for the bloody deaths and shape-shifting bodies he encounters. Pathologists and eye-witnesses say wolf… an upright wolf-like creature.

 

Unlike in the movies, lycanthropy is spread via sexual contact in Ravenous. Big Rock has no shortage of philandering husbands, rapists and horny housewives, so the disease is quick to take hold and threaten everyone in town. The characters are varied and believable, the story starts with a bang and never lets up and the blood flows freely. Garton reinvents the werewolf story and makes it all credible. I really can’t recommend this one enough.

 

Garton followed this up with a sequel, Bestial, the next year. In 2021, Ravenous was reissued by Gauntlet Press as a signed, limited edition, boutique release. I’m saving my pennies.

This review originally appeared in Midnight Magazine #9, March, 2022.

Midnight Magazine

Books of Horror Facebook Page

Loch Ness Revenge By Hunter Shea

 

Loch Ness Revenge
By Hunter Shea
2016 Severed Press
Paperback, 141 pages
 

            I love Hunter Shea. I love cryptozoology, monsters, animals killing humans and gore. This is the medium in which Shea works and he excels at it. Of course, I just had to read what he does with ol’ Nessie!

In their childhood, twins Natalie and Austin saw their parents eaten by the Loch Ness Monster. Natalie had made it her life’s mission to find the monster and avenge her parents. Two decades after the incident, she is primed and ready and Austin joins her to mount a war against the lake creature.

This one isn’t as brutal and gory as some of Shea’s other books, but the action and emotions are always blazing like a flamethrower. The characters (the twins, Austin’s pal Heinrik, and monster-hunter/ videographer Rob) are all well thought out and loveable, surprising for such a short book. The banter between the twins is believable and funny. Once again, Shea gives us a strong and capable woman in Natalie, a welcome character who was all but absent in the 80s pulp novels he must love. The story is told in first person by Natalie.

I don’t ask for a lot in a book. Entertain me, thrill me, scare me or make me laugh. That’s what will make me feel like my time was well spent. Hunter Shae usually delivers all four. My time was well spent with Loch Ness Revenge.

This review originally appeared in Midnight Magazine #9, March, 2022.

Midnight Magazine
Books of Horror Facebook Page

Flowers of Evil By Robert Charles

 

Flowers of Evil
By Robert Charles
1982, Bantam
Paperback, 200 pages

 

I love nature when it strikes back. Of course, animals killing humans is the best but let’s hear it for the flora that gets into the action as well! A lesser-known entry in the plant-panic pantheon is Flowers of Evil and it’s a worthwhile read.

Some odd little flowers are discovered near a nuclear fallout zone in Russia and one of the research team grabs a couple of the pretty blooms. She gives one to her seafaring brother before she realizes that they are nourished by blood and very capable of getting it. The plant’s seeds are eventually sent adrift, only to plant themselves on a remote island where a troubled family is stationed for the season. So, we get a bloodthirsty plant epidemic in two places simultaneously.

Robert Charles (aka Robert Charles Smith and Robert Leader) primarily writes thrillers, but he does a great job with this eco-horror entry. It’s not overly graphic but the story development and the characters keep the pages turning and the plants are formidable foes, growing larger with every drop of blood. One thing that really struck a chord with me, an amateur naturalist, was that the remote island was a resting spot for migratory birds, and the plants were decimating the populations as they landed, making the island a tangled, evil mess.

Not as grisly as many horror pulps from the same period, but this is a compelling and well written book that can still be grabbed on the cheap.

This review originally appeared in Midnight Magazine #9, March, 2022.

Midnight Magazine
Books of Horror Facebook Page

Killer Crabs: the Return by Guy N. Smith

 

Killer Crabs: the Return

By Guy N. Smith

2012 Black Hill Books
Paperback, 149 pages

 

    Twenty something years after Guy N. Smith concluded his original Crabs sextet with Crabs: the Human Sacrifice (1988), the killer crustaceans are back, click-click-clickety-clicking their way back into our hearts and stomachs. El maestro Smith knew what his fans wanted and gave us more mayhem and it’s just what the doctor ordered. Released as an E-book as well as a paperback, it is a very slim volume that can (and should) be read in one sitting. At 149 pages of large, double-spaced print, and the usual crab craziness, the book just flies by.

 

    Brock Logan, the son of a crab victim, has been waiting decades for their reemergence to avenge his father’s death and to get a crab for his trophy room. But we don’t really care about Brock. Fans of Smith’s crab books can rest easy; the crabs mean business. “A crustacean banquet had begun.” This time it’s just one big one, a male who is raising and training his offspring, teaching them the joy of devouring human flesh. Parenting done right!

 

    No, this book doesn’t break any new ground; it is just a valentine from Smith to his crab-happy fans, of which I am a huge one. It wasn’t his last foray into crab calamity, thank goodness. Rest in peace, Guy, and thank you for giving us the crabs.

        This review originally appeared in Midnight Magazine #9, March, 2022.

        Midnight Magazine

        Books of Horror Facebook Page