By Stephen Crye
1983 Pinnacle Books
Paperback, 248 pages
How do you review a book like Joyride?
Do you like slasher movies? Then you will like this book. That is exactly what
this is, a slasher film in book form. It hits all of the proper points, and it
is a shitload of fun because of it. Brutal and unrelenting.
Robert Atchinson was a high
school outcast. Recently orphaned, everybody made fun of him and mentally
abused him. Too bad he had such a crush on pretty, blonde Carla. One day, he
would muster up the courage to give her the gift he’d bought for her, some
bright red hair ribbons. But everything changed after the accident that
disfigured him.
Present day, a group of teens
are looking to party in the cemetery. They break in and find a remote spot and
do the drinking and smoking thing that all high schoolers do. The characters
are cookie cutter slasher film fare; the horny ones, the sensible one, the fat
one, and the younger brother who tags along. Little do any of them know that
the cemetery has a caretaker names Cleats, formerly known as Robert Atchinson,
and he has a serious grudge against all of them for what happened in the past.
Except one, a pretty blonde who he thinks is Carla.
The story takes place all in one
night with flashbacks to Robert’s shitty school life. Crye gets some good
atmosphere in the graveyard and the kills are gruesome and memorable. As a
groundskeeper, he has many garden tools on hand and puts them to very good use.
None of the characters are particularly likeable so we’re all really on Cleats’
side. BEWARE: the first chapter depicts a very gruesome and
brutal murder of an innocent dog. It really has nothing to do with the story,
it just shows how messed up Cleats is. It’s incredibly disturbing and if you
skip right to Chapter 2, you might thank yourself for it.
Is it original? No. Is it
well-written? Well, it’s not poorly written. But it’s a blast, a fun
page turner full of gore and mayhem. Isn’t that what we all want? Go, Cleats,
GO!
On Will Erickson’s brilliant Too
Much Horror Fiction blog,
he reviews Joyride and got a response from the author’s ex-girlfriend
that is full of wonderful information. Crye is Ron Patrick, who was an editor
that thought he’d try to write a book just as a goof. This was the result.
Evidently, he was a handsome, partying, fun-loving dude who just did it “as a
lark”. Under his real name, he also wrote Beyond the Threshold, a title
that is in my TBR pile. Sadly, Patrick is now deceased.
And YAY to Pinnacle Books for
crediting the cover artists, Somja Lamut and Nenand Jakesovic on the Copyright
page!
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