The Asylum By John Edward Ames

The Asylum
By John Edward Ames
1994 Zebra
Paperback, 303 pages

 

                This one was pretty tough for me to make it through, but I did.

 

                Stereotype detective Reno Sloan (streeee-rike one!) finds himself and his endless annoying quipping embroiled in bizarre plot where teenagers in New Orleans are suddenly losing their minds and winding up in the Cypress Island Clinic, where they receive treatment and a cure. One patient, with psychic abilities, commits a gruesome suicide and her sister (with whom she can communicate, even post-death) hires the detective to get some answers.

 

                It seems the CIC has more to it than meets the eye. The top dog, Dr. Malachi Feldman (I’m not making that up) has created a new drug that will make the user hallucinate and go nutzoid. What better way to fill the clinic than to get the topical drug on to rich families’ teenagers and “cure” them by just keeping them there. His two cartoon-character henchmen infect the kids, and they sit back and wait. Just got to watch out for those pesky psychic kids. There may be more than one.

 

                OK, the premise here is all right and the improbable ending had some excitement to it but overall, if you don’t like Reno (and really, how could you?), you won’t enjoy the book. He is such a caricature, straight out of a 40s dime detective novel. He gets all the women, even though he disrespects them left and right, and every other character in the book is a paper-thin, cookie-cutter person, merely there for Sloan to play off. Some plot twists fail because it gets hard to remember who is who among the lesser players.

 

                Ames obviously sat at his typewriter with a street map of New Orleans (his home at the time) and traced a line around the city and then just gave directions as our hero Reno stalked the city in his dilapidated car. He mentions most of the obvious spots. (I was waiting for Reno to grab a beignet at Café du Monde, but Ames skipped that landmark.) Ames has a few other horror novels to his credit, but he is mostly known for Western Fiction. I do have one of his other horrors in my huge TBR pile, but I’m not hurrying to read it. And I’m not keeping The Asylum.

The Master By Guy N. Smith

The Master
By Guy N. Smith
1993 Sheridan (1988 Arrow)
Paperback, 208 pages

 

                The real master serves up another dandy one with this book. Set in the Scottish Highlands, this entry is filled with cruelty, obsession and good old evil entities. And a very fast-moving story it is.

 

                Hurst College is a private school for the very rich, for underachieving kids who are dragging their parents down. Drop ‘em off with Headmaster Lazenby and hope for the best. The Master is rough on the teens, both boys and girls, to achieve perfection, both in body and mind. I mean like Nazi-tough. He wants to turn his charges into supermen. And he rides them rough to get them there.

 

                New art teacher Ann, who thought she’d have no chance of getting the job at such an exclusive school, is taken aback when she sees the discipline that is dished out. Punishing exercise schedules, blood sports (I winced at a foxhunt… Smith pulled no punches) and strict diets. It’s a place that would have killed me, personally. And it can do just that if you’re a fairly weak newbie. You see, Lazenby isn’t the only Master. There is also his Master and Lazenby has plans on bringing his crusty old evil ass back to life.

 

                So, there you go. A little Satanic ritual, some sacrifices, a couple of dead kids, doomed virgins, and the inevitable cover-up. Lazenby is a right bastard and as a character, he is so easy to hate. His comparison to Hitler is just and his brain-washed kids blindly follow along. Most of them, anyway. GNS, as usual, makes the setting an integral part of the story, making the cadets’ struggle to please their Master (and his) more difficult because of their isolation. The dank crypt where their ceremonies are held is a great, atmospheric dungeon; Smith lays it on thick and dark.

 

                A highly recommended work from the master himself, Guy N. Smith. The Arrow and Sheridan editions are adorned with a wonderful Terry Oakes cover painting, making this one a must for your shelf.

 

Originally published in GNS2: A Guy N. Smith Fanzine by Chris Elphick

Floater By Gary Brandner

Floater
By Gary Brandner
1988 Fawcett
Paperback, 295 pages

                The entire story is told on the back cover; straightforward and simple. But in Gary The Howling Brandner’s hands, it is a compelling and intricate narrative that satisfies right up until its somewhat abrupt but still rousing ending. No, it’s not about an unflushable turd. Grow up.

 

                Lindy is the prettiest girl in school, Roman is her jock-star boyfriend and Alec is their hanger-on friend. They are in the upper tier of popularity in high school. At the polar opposite end of the spectrum is Frazier. Smart as hell, but nerdy, pimply and chubby. He has a crush on Lindy (but who doesn’t?) but he knows he’ll never have a chance. But he does have one thing: the hard-earned ability to astrally project.

 

                One night while floating around outside Lindy’s window, he accidentally catches her in a moment of self-intimacy. She breaks a family heirloom in her excitement, and Frazier decides to replace it to get on her good side. Hey- how did he know about that? Peeper much? Lindy, Roman, and Alec plan a way to get even, but their practical joke goes too far, and Frazier dies. His body does anyway. His spirit lingers on and 20 years later, he forcibly invites the three back to Wolf River, Wisconsin to the scene of the crime to get even. It’s payback time.

 

                The story is told in flashbacks and throughout, Lindy is the only person who is the least bit likeable. Frazier, as a floater, is an evil-tempered spirit thinking only of revenge. His post-mortem floater- possession training are some of my favorite parts, starting on a baby, elevating to preschoolers and finally an old man. Straightening out the man’s arthritic fingers is a wonderfully wince-worthy scene. Sure, you need to suspend disbelief quite a bit with this book, but Brander’s characters are fully explored and that helps keep the story from becoming too far-fetched.

 

                With a subtle but very effective cover by Stanislaw Fernandes, Fawcett’s Floater paperback is a good way to experience this excellent addition to the Gary Brandner section on your shelf. It’s still pretty easy to find on the cheap, too.

The Island By Guy N. Smith

The Island
By Guy N. Smith
1988 Arrow Books

Paperback, 191 pages

                I really liked this one. As good a GNS read as any of the classic nature-runs-amok masterpieces. Completely different in every way from every other book of his that I have read, but still pure Guy N. Smith.

 

                The Laird of Ulver is a dick. He repeatedly assaults his wife to keep her pregnant in hopes of a son to call his heir. When the fifth birth is yet another daughter, though stillborn, Marie, the wife, has had enough. Her four daughters and she try to escape but his lordship instead catches them and abandons them on Ulver Island, along with his deformed boatman, Zoke. Nobody on the mainland ever saw them again.

 

                In modern times, widower Frank Ingram, trying to get over his wife’s tragic death, decides to buy a small island “for a snip” to get away from it all and do some farming alone and uninterrupted. It’s a fine plan and it more or less works until one stormy night when five women show up on his doorstep. Their story isn’t very cohesive, and Frank finally learns that they are a mother, Samantha, and her four daughters. We, the readers, have a good idea who they really are.

 

                The story is played out with Marie and her clan alternating every other chapter with Samantha’s brood and we follow Frank’s plight as they take over his house, his land and his life. His frustration becomes our frustration, and Smith ratchets up the tenseness of the situation (in both eras) brilliantly until we just want it all to end! I don’t mean that in a bad way. I was just looking for relief for Frank.

 

                The only problem I had with the book was remembering all of the daughters and mothers’ names while reading. Somebody on less medication than me would likely have no problem with that but I got confused a few times about which daughter was acting out during some moments. But the book is very satisfying, and I plowed through the last 100 pages just hoping to speed things up for poor Frank!

 

                Top shelf GNS right here. And check out that Les Edwards cover!! Wow!

 

Originally published in GNS2: A Guy N. Smith Fanzine by Chris Elphick